This is Ryan. Ryan Strayer. "Stray Cat," to the common man. Ryan is at a crossroads in his life, and needs your help.
He's trying to play hockey this year, but he has the confidence of a Chihuahua in a dogfight with a Pitbull. His main goal is to live and play in France, and is even offering to play without any form of payment. Unfortunately, not only is his window of opportunity to play in France closing with each passing day, but so is the opportunity to actually do something with his life for the next twelve months. You see, Ryan is currently staying with me after spending the past two months living on campus in a college dorm. Plus, his summer work in Massachusetts has concluded, and so he currently has no real source of income. Hence, he is in need of making a well informed and intelligent decision in as little as say 24-48 hours.
So, here are the scenarios that I have considered, and I leave them open to you for your input. Responses are encouraged...
A) Move home to Nashville and complain about life every day.
B) Cross fingers and toes and pray for France to come calling.
C) Try to find a hockey team in the U.S. who may actually be interested in taking him.
D) Move to San Diego with no real life's dream other than to, "Not wear a shirt every day."
E) Resort to male prostitution and chalk his life up as a loss at the age of 26.
Realistically (C) is probably the Cat's best option. However I would love to see him choose (D). I mean what can go wrong living on a house boat in San Diego, which of course means whale's vagina...much like the type of woman Ryan enjoys sexual intercourse with. Sooner or later in San Diego he'll meet a woman to fall madly in love with and she'll have beautiful eyes to go with hair that has the refreshing scent of cinnamon...
ReplyDeleteC is the best option practically, knowing that life is somewhat long and preparing for it is what some may call "responsible". D is the best option spiritually/mentally/physically, because, well duh. However E is a close runner up at best option financially assuming his confidence between the sheets is better than his confidence in the ring fighting pit bulls. But then again, who wants to fight a well-trained pit bull? Not I.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck, Stray Cat.